Thanksgiving at the Lake
As much as I know that selling the cottage would have been best for our situation, times like now make it hard not to feel glad it didn't sell. The sun is making all the leaves glow, with waves on the lake as their backdrop. The cottage is so warm and comfortable. The music, the light, the fire burning in the wood stove. Even the dog so clearly loves it here.
Progress report. Anxiety has been low out here. First thing in the morning before I get out of bed has been when it's reared it's head. I will know I am truly through when I can be relaxed while lying down. It's so strange to me how much worse it is when I am horizontal. Maybe it's not the position but rather the lack of distraction, but if I get up and sit without distraction, my thoughts are so much less intrusive.
So, overall, an easy weekend. I keep finding that the cottage is slowly becoming what it used to be. A place where I feel relaxed, sleep well. A restorative place. Even Ivy doesn't want to leave. She said she wants to stay forever.
We did a Thanksgiving dinner just the three of us last night. I loved it. I am so used to great big family gatherings that consume the whole day. Instead we spent the day clearing the bush in front for a fire pit area, going for walks, going to the park, to the little shops nearby.. It is quieter, and it's not that I never want the bigger dinners, but for where I am at right now, the quiet, stress-free dinner was so perfect. Trucker napped on the couch as I made dinner, the fire was going. We cheated and got pre-cooked turkey. It made dinner and cleanup so easy. It let the focus be on enjoying the day. We each said what we were grateful for. Growing up we never did that. It felt good being free to start a new tradition. Something that doesn't belong to the past.
Today we go home. We need to do the plumbing shut down. We plan to come out this winter. It will be the first winter since having Ivy that we come out. I can't wait.
So this has been days 5 and 6. I am almost one week in. Again, I know that I have had stretches where I feel better before. I know not to feel attached. But I am comforted to see positive changes come from being more mindful of the ways that I create my own mental health.
Progress report. Anxiety has been low out here. First thing in the morning before I get out of bed has been when it's reared it's head. I will know I am truly through when I can be relaxed while lying down. It's so strange to me how much worse it is when I am horizontal. Maybe it's not the position but rather the lack of distraction, but if I get up and sit without distraction, my thoughts are so much less intrusive.
So, overall, an easy weekend. I keep finding that the cottage is slowly becoming what it used to be. A place where I feel relaxed, sleep well. A restorative place. Even Ivy doesn't want to leave. She said she wants to stay forever.
We did a Thanksgiving dinner just the three of us last night. I loved it. I am so used to great big family gatherings that consume the whole day. Instead we spent the day clearing the bush in front for a fire pit area, going for walks, going to the park, to the little shops nearby.. It is quieter, and it's not that I never want the bigger dinners, but for where I am at right now, the quiet, stress-free dinner was so perfect. Trucker napped on the couch as I made dinner, the fire was going. We cheated and got pre-cooked turkey. It made dinner and cleanup so easy. It let the focus be on enjoying the day. We each said what we were grateful for. Growing up we never did that. It felt good being free to start a new tradition. Something that doesn't belong to the past.
Today we go home. We need to do the plumbing shut down. We plan to come out this winter. It will be the first winter since having Ivy that we come out. I can't wait.
So this has been days 5 and 6. I am almost one week in. Again, I know that I have had stretches where I feel better before. I know not to feel attached. But I am comforted to see positive changes come from being more mindful of the ways that I create my own mental health.
Comments
Post a Comment