Bonding in Motion
The first week of the new year, done and dusted. Getting back to being on my own has been challenging and also good. We work so well with our time apart. I will always need some solitude. He needs it too, though he doesn’t ever say it in those words. If ever he is off the road, we will have to find a way to create for ourselves and each other the quiet solitude that we both benefit so much from.
Being on my own with Ivy feels good. One of my goals is more quality time with her, and just setting a new intention has shifted our dynamic in a good way. We’re always pretty solid, but I could feel myself slipping into some kind of auto-pilot mom. I was getting burnt out. Instead of saying yes, I was saying maybe later. 5 more minutes. Tomorrow, next weekend. Forgetting to connect with her. Relying on our existing connection to maintain itself. I don’t want to ever do that. With all of the ‘hurry up, let’s go’ in life, I want to never forget to just be in the moment with her. We went sliding at the park last weekend and every time I wanted to say it was time to go, I would hear her shriek in delight as she rocketed down the slide and I just let her stay and slide to her hearts content. I slid with her a few times, and the terrifying and wonderful sense of speed, with my arms securely around her was exhilerating. Connection in primal, simple, winter fun.
And same for Trucker. It has bothered me for so long now that with all of the heart ache of estrangement, day to day stresses, trying to manage sales while single-momming, single momming itself, etc., I didn’t have room to be the wife he deserves. All of the sudden, there was room. Probably not a coincidence that it was after breaking no contact with my parents, and after some well needed time off and time together. But it feels amazing.
Being on my own with Ivy feels good. One of my goals is more quality time with her, and just setting a new intention has shifted our dynamic in a good way. We’re always pretty solid, but I could feel myself slipping into some kind of auto-pilot mom. I was getting burnt out. Instead of saying yes, I was saying maybe later. 5 more minutes. Tomorrow, next weekend. Forgetting to connect with her. Relying on our existing connection to maintain itself. I don’t want to ever do that. With all of the ‘hurry up, let’s go’ in life, I want to never forget to just be in the moment with her. We went sliding at the park last weekend and every time I wanted to say it was time to go, I would hear her shriek in delight as she rocketed down the slide and I just let her stay and slide to her hearts content. I slid with her a few times, and the terrifying and wonderful sense of speed, with my arms securely around her was exhilerating. Connection in primal, simple, winter fun.
And same for Trucker. It has bothered me for so long now that with all of the heart ache of estrangement, day to day stresses, trying to manage sales while single-momming, single momming itself, etc., I didn’t have room to be the wife he deserves. All of the sudden, there was room. Probably not a coincidence that it was after breaking no contact with my parents, and after some well needed time off and time together. But it feels amazing.
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